Swimsuit Edition

I wanted to start off this week talking about Memorial Day.  I think some people have the wrong idea of what it means.  I could have sworn that Memorial Day was a day to honor our fallen soldiers, those who have served in our military and defended this country’s honor and freedom.  I think some people though, think that it is a day to wear bathing suits everywhere while they do their daily tasks. My job requires me to go into several shopping establishments on a daily basis. All throughout the day all I saw were people in some hideous suits.

One lady came into a store with a suit on and the bottom part of one of those cover-up thingies and I thought I was going to get some sort of poisoning just from smelling her and all of her coconut smelling oil glory. I mean she could rob the place and make a getaway so easy because this chick was so greased up she would slip through whoever’s hands tried to nab her.

Next, at another location, you had a guy who dances right into a store looking for some more liquid nourishment. While strolling in the store, I notice that this guy is soaking wet! Drenched!  Like suit-is-still-sticking-to-him-in-his-neither-regions-with-droplets-all-over. Hello? Is there a pool outside, a hot tub, a sprinkler, or a Crocodile Mile I past up on the way in? I mean this dude was soaked. So that means if he was swimming he immediately jumped out, grabbed the keys, got in his car wet and drove up to the store fast.

Finally, you have the dynamic duo of swimming sisters. Two girls, both bikinis, huge sunglasses, perfect hair, total full of themselves. Except one was teeny skin and bones and the other must have been stealing the skinny one’s food. Chick was like 3 times the little ones size. It was just wrong that “biggin” had to wear this ridiculous bikini. I mean in some parts I couldn’t even see some strings, only vague parts where they entered and re-appeared. Don’t get me wrong, skinny, fat, pudgy, frail, stick, or big-boned, it doesn’t matter to me. Just have some sense of style or modesty in some cases…..or get a mirror. Well until next time another set of weirdos cross by path.


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